The smooth rolling waves,
The blow of a dolphins breath.
Eyes closed, I listen.
This is another haiku I wrote. It is a simple description of the times when I go fishing. We go every summer in our boat, and there is the constant rolling waves. Also, every time we go, we always hear and see different kinds of whales and dolphins, and it is amazing. We see many other wildlife too, such as otters, seals, sea lions, bald eagles, porpoises, and more. Sometimes you can hear the animals before you see them, and it is so fascinating to listen to all their unique sounds.
There is imagery in this poem, which appeals to your touch and hearing. "Smooth rolling waves" create the impression of being on a boat, and listening to "the blow" of a dolphins breath, allows you to really capture the moment.
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I really liked your word choice (smooth, rolling waves), and the poem creates a vivid sea atmosphere. Good job! Although, without your description, I probably would not have known that it was about going fishing...only that you were on a boat
ReplyDeleteI also like your choice of words in this Haiku, you describe the scene for the reader through what you can hear and feel, as opposed to see, which in my opinion is harder to do, and less used. I think your middle line only has 6 syllables though.
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot of imagery in this poem and that's hard to do with only three lines. Good job. And i like that the poem itself doesn't really mention fishing, but from the title we know that that's what it's about. And the middle line does have 7 syllables as far as i can count, so you're all good. Haha.
ReplyDeleteGreat poem!! It really summarizes fishing (when there are no fish to catch) very well. I like the imagery it creates of sleeping while fishing but at the same time being able to listen to the ocean and its wildlife. Very serene, good job!!
ReplyDeleteI like the second line the best. The contrast between blow and breath makes this poem interesting to me. The best way to enjoy the quiet splendor of the the ocean is with eyes closed, I agree! Nice work!
ReplyDeleteGreat haiku! This poem creates great imagery with not only connections to visual sights, but also auditory. This poem gives off a very calming vibe and displays another side of fishing. I like the way you placed the word in the last line, it added to the serene effect!
ReplyDeleteThe whole poem felt very silent, serence and smoot (ohh check out that alliteration haha). The use of smooth waves, and breathing dolphins are things known to be peaceful, so it helps to see and hear the atmosphere of the poem! DANG, goood job!
ReplyDeleteNot only is there visual imagery, but there is also description for hearing.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the title didn't match much with the poem, as one usually doesn't fish dolphins.
I liked your setting of the serene mood.